Do you ever feel like a song is playing just for you? I've come across Ain't No Mountain High Enough, or its come across me, maybe fifteen times since I hit the road home-bound from Maine. Diana Ross', Michael McDonald's- How do they know?
I know somewhere is a quote about knowing who your friends are when adversity hits- who will stick by and keep you from falling through the bottom.
The support I have is- absolute. Phone calls, words of encouragement, invites to visit, to live until I get it all back together. Quiet when I need it. Kudos for being strong and doing the difficult thing.
I hope Nate is getting all this support. It is certain his family, friends and coworkers have rallied around him and he does not doubt himself the way I can. Hopefully he will eventually decide I am gone and forget me except for those passing breezes of light memory.
He still wanted to marry me after all the doubts I expressed through our engagement- doubts often met with silence, sometimes with anger. Certainly that wasn't happiness for him. He'd use humor to say he hoped I'd show up at the altar. It can seem insurmountable to deliver a big hurt, but hurting someone over and over, like hundreds of hits just hard enough to bruise, can warp your essence and purpose.