Saturday, December 30, 2006
Do you sense the bliss the first moment your body succumbs to the structurally supportive cotton candy welcome of bed and your skeletal muscles begin to liquefy. Do you sigh and stretch and moan out loud in the sensual glory of oozing across the sheets?
As a woman I came with special powers. I can go to bed a B-cup and wake up a size C. I can spend all Monday hoping my rings don't fall right off my fingers yet be unable to squash them onto my sausage stumps Tuesday morning. I can grow clean out of my pants over night.
Seeing me you would not call me fat. Seeing myself I am mildly disgusted. My body is morphing out of my control- I am fattening up like a pasture pony at the hay buffet. It is partly lifestyle. I am still on my feet for 8 or 9 hours every day at work, but no longer racing around after busy residents. Unlike in Maine, it is not entirely feasible here to do my grocery shopping on foot- that is, shoulder my backpack and canvas bags and hoof the two miles each way on a safe sidewalk.
Unable to find a local school or barn I am no longer taking Tae Kwon Do or riding horses. 97% of the group classes at my gym occur during my working hours.
And with nine months of celibate singledom under my (accidental chastity) belt, I am no longer 'on top' several times a week!
And my thighs are staging a coup.
They must be stopped!!!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Thank you to:
the used kitty litter I dumped from on high for all going into the plastic bag.
the teen-aged (read as: several years younger than me) grocery store employee who refrained from scolding me when I literally climbed two shelves right next to him to get my box of Raw Sugar.
the gentlemen who hold the door open for me, and who graciously pass through first when I hold the door open for them.
my pajamas for making my body feel like pockets of heaven.
my kitties for being squishably adorable.
I visited nationalgeographic.com this morning , awed to see photos of the giant squid- albeit feeling badly for the smaller squid used to lure her and slightly awkward that she was ill led. Still, all appeared fine until I read the captioned paragraph and learned she had "put up quite a fight" about being taken onto the boat, and in the process had been killed. Chalk one up for science, huh? Screw that!
Students are discovering a way to turn cow dung into useable energy- Wonderful! Until I read that the bovine providers are kept inside for eight months to provide the poop.
Can we do nothing without destroying other living creatures?
Sunday, December 17, 2006
LIFESAVERS WILD HORSE RESCUE
The Heartbreak of Premarin Farms
Premarin is a drug whose name originates from a key ingredient, pregnant mare's urine. It is prescribed to alleviate the symptoms of menopause by substituting equine estrogens for those naturally produced by the human body.
According to 2000 statistics, there are approximetley 450 farms in Canada and 50 farms in the U.S., located in North Dakota, Minnesota, and Indiana with approximately 60,000 mares.
Pregnant mares used for Premarin production are confined to narrow tie stalls where they cannot turn or lie down for weeks at a time without release for exercise. This chronic lack of exercise can cause severe swelling of the legs, breakdown of the hoof structure and sets the stage for colic. They are harnessed to urine collection bags six months a year. The mares may be kept in pregnant for production for 8 to 9 years. At the end of their use, they are sent to slaughter.
60,000 grade foals, the by-products of this industry, have almost no chance to find homes as sport horses, working horses or pets. The majority will become casualties of slaughter. At two to five months old, the foals will be taken from their mothers and sent to auctions where they will ultimately end up in the slaughterhouse.
Each September, several rescue groups unite to purchase PMU foals from the auctions and from the pmu farms to save them from a horrible death. Lifesavers is working to raise funds to rescue another group of foals this year. The meat packers are paying more than ever for horsemeat due to the threat of Mad Cow Disease as well as Hoof and Mouth Disease infecting beef cattle, sheep and other livestock overseas. The prices have nearly doubled in one year, making it very difficult to raise enough money to rescue, house, vet care and transport the foals from Canada and the northern states.
The cost of saving each individual foal is more than $800. Many of the foals are draft breeds, although some of the PMU farms are now breeding their big mares with more popular breeds such as quarter horses and paints.
Lifesavers will help pay for the purchase, vet and transport of as many foals as possible this year. Once rescued and safely in the U.S., Lifesavers will have the foals delivered to our ranch and will find loving homes for these babies.
Our first two Premarin foal rescues are Dually and Diesel who will stay as Lifesavers ranch mascots to help educate visitors of the Heartbreak of Premarin Farms.
If you are a woman being prescribed "Premarin" which is manufactured by Wyeth-Ayerst as an estrogen replacement ask your doctor about synthetic alternatives such as:
Cenestin by Duramed, Climara by Berlex, Estrace by Mead/Johnson, Estratab by Solvay, Ogen by Upjohn, Ortho-Est by Ortho-Mcneil, Provera by Upjohn, Estinyl by Sherin, Estradrem by Ciba. All of these products are made from plant materials such as soy, yams and other vegetable sources.
The only way we can stop this atrocious treatment of mares and foals is to squelch the demand for the product. Please do not use any product made from Pregnant Mares Urine. The synthetic alternatives are safe, reliable and very effective. Most importantly there are no animals suffering from its production.
The above information was comprised from brochures printed and distributed by the ASPCA, United Animal Nations, and other various animal welfare websites and publications.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Please do not step on your brake pedal at intervals of 5 to 15 seconds when there is no change to the traffic in front of you or in your direction plans because when you suddenly brake for a good reason I think you are just faking again; plus this repetitive braking makes me want to poke your eyes out and step on your head and in general ruins my mood. If you are unable to work the gas pedal without losing control of it, stay home or pull over and get the hell out of my way.
Item 2: The light panels on your car
Newsflash: When it is sunset, or overcast, or raining, and you are driving a gray/black/brown/dark blue automobile, it is really freaking hard to see you when you don't have your lights on- I will be happy to help jump you or call AAA if you forget to turn them off and your battery dies. I will be unhappy to pick you out of my grill, or vice versa, if we collide because you blend into the freaking dark.
P.S. The blinking panels on the sides of the headlight areas are not holiday lights reserved for Christmas time- they are turn signals, to be used BEFORE you turn; slamming on your brakes and then turning on your blinker is not first choice, but acceptable as a last alternative.
Item 3: Tractor Trailers
Changing lanes into the path of a 65 mph oncoming tractor trailer within 10 car lengths, and particularly within- ahem- ONE car length, is death wish; Knock it off.
If you must get in front of a truck leave at least one car length for every 10mph of speed you have accumulated- otherwise there is a darn good chance the truck driver will jackknife trying to brake in order to save your stupid heinie.
Item 4: Motorcycle riders
Are human beings who don't want to be smooshed under your tires. Stay off their asses and don't pull out in front of them. They are wearing leather, you are wearing a car.
Item 5: Police cars
If you are driving within the designated speed limit and you see a police car, there is no need to slam on your brakes. There is also no need to drop 10mph below the speed limit. The speed limit on the signs is not an April Fool's joke.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
I just had the urge to photograph my laundry basket; or rather my empty basked and pile of clothes on the bed: the sideways basket, the fabric softened jumble of clean pastels appeared a cotton comfort cornucopia.
I feel an immediate kinship toward anyone else whose spine convulses at the first note, or mention, of, "The hills are alive with the sound of music... ." There was much Nutcracker, Sound of Music, Wizard of Oz, and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory in my childhood. I am maxed, done, overloaded. The only sound I want alive in my hills is squirrels and chipmunks rooting through the underbrush, thank you. Keep Julie Andrews the heck on up outta my camp site.
Peaches, onions, and tuna compliment one another in a green salad.
Does the country have it s Constitution in a bigger twist over this than it did over our rights to privacy being infringed upon?
I think I sorely misunderstood "Separation of Church and State" in elementary school. The Catholic Church has quite an effective voice in how this country is run.
When violence performed in the name of protecting the Koran is listed, I wonder if all the violence done in the name of the Bible has been neatly tucked aside in the hopes of 'out of sight, out of mind'. Or perhaps if the violence was done to protect 'Your' religious beliefs, then it is acceptable?
Besides, I would hold greater faith in an oath Ellison swears on the Koran than in any he takes on the Bible. What retribution can he fear if he swears on a book that holds nothing over him?
It giggles me up inside when my lover makes an excuse with his face and secretly smells my hair.
The real event would infuriate me and draw tears, but walk up to me and say;
"Kick the dog down the stairs and beat it with a stick."
and I will laugh.
What phrases or terms make you laugh every time?
Saturday, December 02, 2006
What a wonder it is you all grown up sporting that beard!