Wednesday, August 30, 2006

All or Nothing Karen.

Two nights ago I dreamt of my exfiance and of his family. Last night I dreamt of my ex-fiance. This morning I had a voicemail left last night while my phone was charging.
It was my ex-fiance, asking if he can send any of my things. I was able to call him back on my lunch break today. It was the first time we spoke since the emotionally horrid weekend in May that I moved out of the apartment in Maine. ( I purposely left some of my things for him to use- some furniture, my radio, drinking glasses. Other things I forgot like two serving trays I adore and the Lenox bud vase my mom gave me for Christmas four years ago.)
Oh, I called his cell phone once or twice over the summer to try and reach him.

It was great to hear him again and he talked with me some too. I miss all the good we had and if I have to forcefully refocus myself. Even that doesn't totally work. What does work is remembering how much I hurt him and how unfair and unkind it would be to put myself back into his life after what I did.

1 comment:

Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

Forgiveness, follow your heart. I find it interesting that you used the word 'purposely.'