I went ahead and subscribed to classmates.com.
The best years of your life. The adults that say this are the adults who were popular. The kids who sat behind you on Mondays jabbering and giggling about the weekend games and parties. I wasn't one of these kids. I was the kid who dreaded lunch room seating day; dreaded wandering the crowded cafeteria hoping some kind soul would take pity on my frightened face and offer me a seat for the year at her table. I was always grateful knowing it was a burden and took some strength to be seen with me.
For that kid, school is awful- one instance after another of swallowing humiliation and biting your lip until the gym taunts- that are somehow both ignored and allowed by the instructor to continue- to be over at the bell so you can withdraw to the mercy of a locker room stall and cry.
Is it possible to ever become a confident adult after being bullied and ostracized for 13 years?
I was told all along to ignore it. Ignore it and they will stop. They only tease because they get a reaction.
My mom regrets this now-wishes she had taught me to fight it off, to stand up for myself.
I'm almost 32 and all of this anger and shame is still inside; a coiled sickness.
I guess I keep hoping some day I will see these people again and they will finally accept me, finally think I am good enough.
I need to stop needing this- I need to finally feel okay with who and what I am. I don't know how to do that.