Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Pantyhose and Mike

I went away to college when I was 18, and had a blast-I was really (really) quiet until the end of high school; then BLAM! I've barely shut up since.
Welcome to Millersville University in Millersville, PA. Check your map. Look for Lancaster. Look for a proximal, unnamed blank spot. That's Millersville.

Millersville claims ownership of the largest universiy campus pond in the US. It's a double pond linked by a foot bridge in the center of campus populated by huge gold fish (i think) and ducks on a strict schedule of aquatic duck lovin' and flying to the island in the middle and navel oranges always wedged in the honey-comb chicken wire fence.

I first sat at the pond with my friend, Mike, during college orientation. I met Mike at the math placement test when I was late and grabbed a seat beside him. I offered him a piece of gum. We agreed math stinks. Then we skipped the next session to get a soda. There the dye was cast, he alludes. That was June 1992. I was in his wedding party last May, wearing my first tuxedo.

A tuxedo is by far more comfortable than a dress. You don't worry about panyhose, ironing, static cling, or the color of your panties (which stay put in a tux). You don't need to find a cat's cradle style bra made of chicken wire and elastic or torture yourself with double sided tape. Nothing falls out, rides up, or falls down. If you really enjoy the buffet there's no need to stand upright the rest of the night or go home early. The waistband adjusts!

Next time you need a fancy dress, I highly reccomend a tux.

1 comment:

TJ said...

You actually wore a tux? That is really cool.