Sunday, May 28, 2006


I peeked over a shoulder last week to read "Never make someone else your priority when they are making you their option." Maybe the time has come after all to stop reining in my own momentum- let myself go forward full throttle down a new path.
I have my own plans now. I want to finance a newer car- my old girl's eleven and she's stood strong through the 70k miles we've logged together but under my pedal leg she's telling me retirement or plastic surgery and a car-diologist are due. I am thinking retirement for her. Besides, financing a car would help improve my steadily improving credit- which would help me get approval for a mortgage next fall.
I would like to apply for adoption by 35, or in three years. I would like to adopt domestically and I would like a newborn, at least for the first child. I know there are needing children of all ages all over the world but this is the truth of what I want to experience at least once. International adoption is impractical for my life as it is now and will likely be in three years, and I've dreamed for decades of burping and bouncing and diaper changing, getting up all night long-rocking and snuggling and wiping up spit-up- teeny undershirts and tinier socks- pacifiers and sterilized bottles, crib sheets and teething rings- baths in the sink and food thrown at the dog. I love the sweet smell of Desitin and a warm munchkin falling asleep in the crook of my arm or snuggled into my shoulder.
I fell in love with babies at the age of three, and never fell out.

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